Monkey Milk
Posted 01.18.12 at 07:19 AM UTC
Tagged nonsense | # | Comment [1]

I've found that getting back into posting after a long break is best accomplished with something stupid.

Delaying taking out the trash and making the lunches, I did some research into why vegans won't drink milk. Turns out that their problem is "consent." If the product is freely and willingly given it's not a problem.

I understand that cows barely have the sense to avoid even an avoidable death, so the idea of getting consent from one is pretty far-fetched. However, I do believe that monkeys may be able to provide consent with the proper communication facilities and training.

This is going to be a tough start-up with heavy capital requirements, but my line of "Free Will Monkey Milk" will be appearing in stores shortly.

Time Management
Posted 12.16.11 at 04:57 AM UTC
Tagged nonsense | # | Comment [0]

I submit the justification of my awful sleeping habits at times. Although I'm not doing much programming right now, which means I'm just an idiot.

Facebook Turkish II
Posted 12.08.11 at 06:35 PM UTC
Tagged turkish | # | Comment [0]

I'm proud of this one:

"Google da artık kadınlar gibi olmuş, cümlenin bitmesini beklemiyor :)"

Talking about Google Instant, I assume: "Now even Google has become like a woman, it doesn't wait for the end of your sentence."

Intelligent and Unintelligent Design
Posted 12.08.11 at 06:31 PM UTC
Tagged random | # | Comment [0]

I pulled out two gnarly whiskers this morning, as I am paying the price for doing the electric shave in the car yesterday. They were those defective ones where multiple whiskers grow together in a triple helix-type pattern. You might somewhat harshly consider that to be a defective genetic feature of the face, but the fact that a snafu like that doesn't just cause your face to permanently mar itself or something is another small little TMI miracle for the day.

We need a Christmas tree; the "wrapped gift bedroom floor space" and "unwrapped gift chair" are quickly filling up, and it's the smallest chair in the living room. Christmas or not, the bigger chairs are for lounging.

The Best Buy commercials where the woman heckles Santa are only marginally better than the ones from years past where a slave-driving Santa makes the elves work holidays and weekends.

I saw my first "dad of the house was smart" commercials in a long time. The doofus guy from the "doublemyspeed.com" ad now has a second scenario where he takes the information previously gifted to him by his wife and has a nice father-daughter moment on the couch fixing her college PC. The daughter was either grateful for the help or silently disgusted that he had rooted out her hustle to get an Apple laptop as a replacement. Either way, he was victorious, saved money, looked like the big man of the house, and didn't take guff from anybody.

... Unlike that poor sap who gets berated in his wife's greenhouse for saving money on a phone plan. That one is awful. My devious side always wants him to just go nuts, smashing her windows, maybe getting the kids (who I'm sure are on his side due to the new unlimited mobile plan) to destroy all her plants. Salt the soil so nothing else will ever grow. That type of thing. Maybe the new trend is that commercial dads are reserved while the women are more, well, evil and aggressive.

AT&T was again rated the worst mobile provider. Knock on formica, but we haven't had a lot of issues. You occasionally have to wave a dead chicken over Kristin's iPhone to make an outbound call, and sans MicroCell we get one bar at the house when we're not standing askew a brick wall, but otherwise quite good. Much fewer dropped calls, but that's a city-to-city thing they're working on.

I always enjoy those kind of "First World Problems" Amazon reviews, like where they say a box of Christmas cookies is "inedible." We watch our fair share (yeah, Obama) of chef shows on TV, and it's pretty funny to see some portly snob stare down a well-cooked slice of veal and say, "this is inedible." These are probably people who think tap water is "undrinkable," and we've seen people refuse to cook with canned beans.

Not related, but when boiling water I still think of the poor moron on Hell's Kitchen who thought cold water boiled faster.

Travel, Before Bed
Posted 12.03.11 at 09:25 AM UTC
Tagged travel | # | Comment [0]

Mentioning travel made me think of one more thing.

Looking back on all the trips, I most miss walking in Vienna and Madrid, driving in Ireland, relaxing in Antalya on the Turkish coast, and looking for animals in South Africa. I miss the people in the Philippines, and I will only return to Russia when somebody else begs me to go with them for some reason. I miss pretending I live in London.

With the Lira-to-USD rate hovering around 1.85, it would be a good time to be chilling out in Antalya, especially over the off-season. You can probably go all-inclusive for less than $100/night right now.

The Camera Subtracts Dust
Posted 12.03.11 at 09:17 AM UTC
Tagged travel | # | Comment [0]

Cairo is a truly awful city. Whatever nastiness you see on TV, double it.

Not too miserable to get around and see stuff (pre-Arab Spring), but just a horrible feel. Dirty, no places to eat outside of American hotels, and shady taxi drivers. Nice airport, though.

We will eventually get our Vienna and Egypt pictures up, but it may be after school is over.

Routine Maintenance
Posted 12.03.11 at 09:09 AM UTC
Tagged news | # | Comment [0]

Somebody needs to drip a little bit of machine oil or WD-40 around Romney's #6 vertebra. He's a little stiffer than usual since the Brett Baier interview.

Looking Far Ahead
Posted 12.03.11 at 08:31 AM UTC
Tagged nonsense | # | Comment [0]

While the discounts would be nice, I don't see myself ever joining AARP down the road. The annoying insurance huckstering, the cranky old people in ads threatening incumbents if anyone touches their entitlements, and the lobbying are all pretty disturbing.

The classic South Park episode certainly made its point.

I might join AMAC, although I somehow doubt it will still be around by the time I retire.

In other cranking, my house builders couldn't be bothered to center the junction box above the mirror, and the Hoodie Footie, while ostensibly a blockbuster gag gift, is 70 dollars. Really?

Daily Challenge
Posted 11.30.11 at 02:25 PM UTC
Tagged turkish | # | Comment [0]

I often try to translate my Turkish friends' Facebook status updates on the fly. Especially since it's online and pretty colloquial/informal, this is particularly hard to do. Sometimes it's a pretty neat little tidbit.

I assume this is from a song or something:

"Olur, olur, bal gibi olur, oldu da!"

Given the repetition this one was fairly easy except for one tricky vocabulary word:

"It is, it is, like honey it is, and it also was!"

Weird.

...And the New One
Posted 11.18.11 at 07:04 PM UTC
Tagged efendi | # | Comment [0]

No more butterscotch!